Ohhhhh man what a night. I went to Factory Monday A.k.a. "Goth Night" at Necto with Erin and Nathan last night. We got all gothed up, and I wore my Rocky Horror Picture Show costume. It was a lot of fun and I think that industrial music is really starting to grow on me! haha. I have been listening to it ever since! I love the energy and the sick beats! Its amazing! It gets me pumped! But anyways, back to last night... I only drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade and half of a long island iced tea but was drunk off my ass in a matter of minutes. haha. God I am such a light weight. I requested for the DJ to play Zydrate Anatomy and he did so that was frickin' awesome! I got so excited when it started playing that I am pretty sure I hit somebody in the head while jumping up and down drunk. haha. OOPS! Sorry whoever that was.
What was so cool about it was the fact that SO MANY PEOPLE KNEW the song and sang along to it! Although whether its because they actually have seen the movie or just know the song because it is played regularly is a mystery. haha. Probably a bit of both. I had fun dancing with my friends and just sitting there drunk watching people dance and reflecting on my own emotions. I always feel too self conscious to dance, and need alcohol in me but as I sat there on the stage or up near the bar watching everyone I noticed that there are A LOT of people out there that don't really seem to know how to dance and just do it anyways! And even so they don't really look that bad, so me worrying that people will make fun of me for the way I dance is probably mostly in my head. I need to work on that.
While Erin and Nathan were dancing together I was kind of dancing off by myself and there was this REALLY cute guy that I had noticed as soon as we got there because his hair was in a mohawk and really tall. (Back when I still dated guys, I always went after the punkish type, men like Benji Madden from Good Charlotte) haha. But anyways this guy was kind of dancing with me for a good portion of the night. And stood near me forever when I was sitting down. Only when we were dancing we were about a foot apart from each other and there was no physical contact. At first I just kind of seemed uninterested and tried to ignore him but as the night went on I started to become kind of overwhelmed with these feelings like I actually liked the fact that he was dancing with me and I wanted to make the dancing together more official but these feelings I was having were freaking me out so I continued to dance a foot away and do nothing about them...
This is about the time when another gentlemen in a hat and no shirt came up to me and asked if I would like to dance. Mohawk guy wasn't really making much more of an effort at this point and was kind of heading towards another girl and Erin and Nathan were wrapped up in dancing together and this shirtless guy had had the courage to ask me so I said to myself "Oh what the hell why not?" And danced with him to about 3 songs. But next thing I knew we were making out! WTF? haha. I don't even like guys that much! After cleaning my mouth with mouthwash last night when I got home I awoke this morning now sober and still obviously liking women but wondering where the hell all of that came from.
All in all besides my drunken setback of making out with Jared (Thats what he said his name was, or Jarrett) I was a little too drunk to tell if it was a d or a t. haha, it was a pretty good night! I had a lot of fun drinking and dancing with my friends and enjoyed the music! But for some reason I have kind of been kicking myself all day. For some reason I regret dancing with this Jared. I wish that I had continued to dance with the cute guy who had his eye on me all night. I can't stop dwelling on it for some reason and its kind of messing with my head a little. After all, he's just some good looking guy at a club with really cool hair! I don't even date or sleep with guys soooo why should I care that we didn't dance more? Hell, who knows! Maybe I am bi. I mean, most women I know who are lesbians do not find guys attractive in the least bit. However there are plenty of straight girls who only date and sleep with men who find girls attractive. I have been with guys in the past, and I mean I find them attractive but I don't know, I just don't feel the same emotionally or physically with them like I do with women. I feel close to women, I feel wanted. With men, I just feel distant and uninterested and like a piece of ass.
Then what is it about this damn guy with the mohawk that keeps popping back up in my head and getting under my skin so bad? GRR! Its annoying me! I think its time to drown my thoughts out with some more really loud industrial music! And for the record I am not quite sure what to think of long island iced teas now that I have tried one and see how they affect me! hahaha. Here my friends is where I will end this blog, not entirely sure what everything that happened last night means, but in the words of Jamie Foxx I will "Blame it on the alcohol"
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