More Poetry

Found some more old poems and songs in an old notebook today so I thought I'd share! :)Some of these were written as far back as 2011.

Slap In The Face (I'm Hurt And Offended)

Fuck! Brain in a trap door.
Fuck! Heart in a chain.
Fuck! Who was I kidding?
Fuck! I've buried myself,
Ten feet under this time.

Mind is racing. Feet are fleeting.
Hope is sinking, I am leaving.
Body's tensing, Fists are clenching.
Heart has leapt up into my throat this time.

Doors are slamming, voices raising.
Words escaping, trust evaporating.
Go on and take me, for the fool I am.
Go on and throw me to the curb.
Just like they all have.

Who am I hating? So much anger.
No direction, to aim, spit, useless....
Shitfaced loser. What have I to show?
Hurtful words, a broken other.
Myself? Head like a hole.

What a slap in the face.
I'm offended. I'm hurt.
I'm such a disgrace.

Frantic

The glass it tilts, it rocks back and forth,
Left to right. Reality? No, only in my mind.
The world is spinning. I spin with it.

These thoughts are painful. No way to quit it.
Try as I might to erase this self hate.
Nothing makes it evaporate.
Though I do.
I evaporate more each day.

My feelings, my will to care, they slowly fade
Away.

Plagued in nightmares, even while awake.
These thoughts so dark. So twisted. Is this my fate?
It can't be, and now I question if fate even exists.
For God could just be a fairytale told by the corrupt government.

I question all that I've come to know, and rearrange answers
to the questions I've searched for.
When did I get so paranoid?
Oh wait! I've been a hypochondriac all my life.

Drowning in this mania.
Fuck this constant "Blah, blah, blah."
I can't even think of a word to rhyme.

Frantic.

Untitled

Trying to fit a square peg into a circle this time.

Untitled #2
F
R
E
T
F
R
E
T
F
R
E
T.

Subsiding Depression
Flesh upon flesh
Warm angel's breath
Salty tears
Two hearts beating.
A statue coming alive.
Numbness leaving
Revives the feeling
Noses mashing
Bodies crashing.
Teeth grinding
Emotions no longer hiding.
Come out to play,
Come out to stay.
Float away.
Float away.
Float away.
Float away.

Dry Your Tears We'll Make It Home
Love nailed these pillars into the ground
Four walls that bind and shelter.
Four walls that dry tears in time.
You thought you'd live happily ever after
but then anxiety came tumbling after,
now you trudge up this muddy hill,
Life's a freeze frame, you're standing still.

And she's buried her face in a pillow,
You're drowning your own damn sorrows
As she's crying out
She's crying out
She's crying out
She's crying out
and your heart yells STOP!
but you haven't a clue how.

You're trapped again.
The guilt settles in.
You're buried with doubt.
You're stuck with no hope of climbing out.
Your hands bloodied from clawing the ground.
You climb out of this hole you've helped dig yourself
and she's got that look of pain again.
She's your only friend.
She's your only friend.
She's your only friend.
She's your only friend.
So snap out of it.

Love nailed these pillars into the ground,
they built the four walls that we call home now.
We walk tall against the rain.
We take strolls down memory lane.
It was a long few months to get here, to survive,
but together we made it out alive.

No lack of pill, no anxious thought
can thwart us from the love we've got.
We are strong, we made it through,
Happily ever after, me and you.

Untitled #3
She's wise beyond her years
I hide behind my tears
I was trying not to lose
What I had already gained
She's shouting in maturity
I'm screaming out obscenities
When will I ever learn
and put the past behind me?
She's walking out the door
I'm a crumpled mess on the floor.
She's demanding respect
I'm at a loss for words.
She's gonna fly away
and I'll pay for the choices I've made
Why does it always end up this way?
When will I stop being such a fool?
She's given me plenty of time,
I'm stuck in pointless rhymes.
Nowhere to turn, and in time,
I'll be the death of me.
She's putting on her game face.
I'm trying to climb out of holes.
She's going to leave in the end.
We're both sick of being controlled.